


Feeling Strange

by DianaSolaris



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Asexual Character, F/F, POV Rose Lalonde, Past Jake English/Dirk Strider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 01:46:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14843256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DianaSolaris/pseuds/DianaSolaris
Summary: Rose is starting to figure out what (else) is different about her, and doesn't know how to tell Kanaya just yet; so she goes to Dirk, her father/brother/whatever on earth he counts as, for some friendly helpful fellow-gay advice.Kanaya does not actually show up but if I write a sequel/follow-up she will!





	Feeling Strange

**Author's Note:**

> For Prompt #1 of fandomacefest!

                There is a certain odd but comfortable joy in having a big family all of a sudden, Rose Lalonde decides as she lies down on the grassy knoll to join her new older(?) brother(?), staring up at the sun through stolen shades.

                “He’s going to want those back,” Dirk says after a few moments of silence.

                “He’ll live. He’s currently spending some quality time with Roxy. Apparently she’s quite an accomplished Super Smash Bros player.”

                Dirk chuckles, then folds his hands on his stomach. He looks so peaceful that Rose almost hates to disturb him. Almost.

                “So,” she says, and lets the word hang there.

                “…Yes?”

                “I am in search of – what would you call it? Parental advice.” She clears her throat, trying to keep her face from turning red. “As you know, Kanaya and I are involved.”

                “Kanaya is –“

                “The lady with the chainsaw and the very handsome green lipstick.”

                “Of course,” Dirk drawls, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Because god forbid you _don’t_ find the most disorientingly pretty Amazon in the current universe and gravitate directly to her.”

                “I’ll have you _know,_ ” Rose replies, finally losing the fight against her reddening cheeks and throwing an arm over her eyes, “she flirted with _me_ first.”

                “I rest my case.”

                “When did you get so wordy? I distinctly remember you being much more laconic.”

                “I get troublesome when I’m bored. I’ve been lying on this hill for an hour and creative inspiration has been decidedly absent.”

                Rose can’t suppress the laugh that forces its way out of her. “You really _are_ my father.”

                “…Ah,” he mumbles. “That’s what you meant by parental advice. You remember I’m sixteen, right?”

                “In the absence of other options, what would you like me to do?”

                “John’s father-“

                “While pleasant, is more likely to demonstrate the answer to my question with a _horrendous_ harlequin.” Rose sits up and plucks a grass stem, tickling Dirk’s nose with it. “Sixteen or _not,_ you have enough of my DNA that the likelihood of you having some sort of reasonable input on my situation is high.” Her voice drops down a little. “E-especially on matters of-“ She still doesn’t know how to word it.

                Dirk seems to catch on though, and snorts, batting the grass stem away and levering himself up on his elbows. “Fine. The gay dad is in. What can I help you with?”

                Rose takes a deep breath, counts to ten, settles her skirt over her knee and with the most neutral expression she can manage, exhales. “Sex. How does it work?”

                Dirk blinks and stares at her. “Wh- _Why are you asking me?_ ”

                “Limited options are available!”

                “I date men! You date women! The – you –“ Dirk buries his head in his hands, falling back against the grass. “Why, out of everybody, would _you,_ the bespoke _lesbian,_ ask the _flaming homosexual_ about the mechanics of-“

                “I know the mechanics,” Rose interrupts, balling her hands into fists on her knees.

                Dirk pauses and looks at her again.

                “I’ve read stories, I’ve looked up the appropriate guides and – and videos online, I’ve done meticulous research. I understand _what_ it is.”

                Dirk sighs. “Alright. So, what are you actually asking me?”

                “How does it work? I mean – I mean, how does –“ Rose stumbles over her words. Trying to put into words how she feels is so impossibly hard no matter the subject – it’s why she uses her language so carefully, uses ten words where one would do, aims for precision – but there’s no precision here. “What if you’re not sure you want to?” she whispers, and saying it makes it real.

                Dirk listens closely, then sits up properly, crossing his legs and facing her. He’s taller than her even sitting, and Rose focuses anywhere but his face, chewing on the insides of her lips and trying to make her heart stop racing. It’ll be her worst fears confirmed, she realizes. Just something else she’s doing _wrong,_ something else that makes her Strange. And she can accept being strange. She’s accepted being strange for a very, very long time – one doesn’t start wearing black lipstick and dying streaks of hair purple unless they have already resigned themselves to standing out and apart.

                But she doesn’t want to be strange enough to lose something she wants and has fought so, _so_ hard for.

                “Well,” Dirk starts a little clumsily, “not everybody wants to right away. Or do you mean-“

                “I don’t see the appeal at all. I’d rather watch a surgery, to be brutally honest.”

                “Considering your tastes, that doesn’t surprise me,” Dirk cracks, then moves on before Rose can get more than mildly annoyed. “Uh, it’s worth knowing that –“ He scratches at his arm with an embarrassed chuckle. “The stuff online’s all staged, or weirdly written. You might not enjoy that and-“

                “If you’re encouraging me to try it out-“ Rose responds coldly, but Dirk raises his hands.

                “I’m covering my bases. The important thing is-“ and his shoulders drop, his smile softens, and Rose realizes with horror that her lips are trembling. “You don’t ever have to do anything you don’t want to do. Whether it’s you telling yourself you should, or somebody else.”

                “What if it’s to save the world?”

                “If somebody’s trying to make you have sex to save the world, they’re _probably_ lying to you.”

                He reaches up and plucks Dave’s sunglasses off her face, and brushes something off her face – a tear, she notices with utter mortification. “You don’t have to. Ever.”

                “G-give those back,” she mumbles tearily.

                “Okay.”

                “I-I wasn’t expecting you to be so _sappy_ about it.”

                “It’s a rare and beautiful thing. If you’d like, I can say something biting and snarky to make up for it.”

                Rose just plonks her head forward onto his shoulder instead. “…have to talk to Kan, don’t I?” she mumbles grouchily.

                “That’s usually a recommended course of treatment when it comes to relationships, yes. You could try my method, but I ended up with a severe case of decapitation. Twice.”

                Rose sniffles. “If you ever tell anybody I was crying, I will make it three times, gladly.”

                “I’m sure you will.”

                “Why are you being so nice to me?”

                Dirk hesitates, then sighs. “You’ve noticed by now that people skills aren’t my strong suit.”

                “Out of my best friends, one of them was raised by a dog, another has Nick Cage as his role model, and the third considers irony a valid long-term life philosophy. You’re fine.”

                He chuckles, then pulls slightly away from her, his face hard to read but the nervousness obvious in how his shoulders tense. “I’ve made mistakes.”

                “We all have-“

                “No, I mean –“ He sighs. “What I’m saying to you is what I should have said to somebody else. I didn’t _make_ them do anything, I just – made some things sound more important than they were. I’ve tried to make up for it, but well, you can’t unsay things. Even if you’re insecure and upset when you say them.”

                Rose sits next to him and presses her shoulder to his. “I tried to take on a world-destroying horror all on my own because I was upset.”

                “…You did?”

                “Yes. And I invited the horrorterrors into my body as a result.”

                Dirk shakes his head. “I feel like the situations aren’t comparable, but at the same time, I see your point.”

                “I appreciate your honesty. I just hope that Kanaya understands.”

                “She isn’t human, so the chances of her being entirely puzzled at the whole _concept_ of sex seems high.”

                “How much have you even interacted with the trolls?”

                “I’ve met Karkat.”

                “…He doesn’t count.”

                “I’d ask, but I think I know why.”

                She closes her eyes, resting on Dirk’s shoulder for a little while longer. “…I think I really love her.”

                “Scary, isn’t it?”

                “Terrifying,” she murmurs.

                “You’ll be okay.”

                “How do you know?”

                Dirk hums contentedly. “You might be my kid, but you’re Roxy’s too. And that means you’ll be okay.” Beat. “Also, if anybody hurts you, we’ll _both_ kick their ass, so.”

                “Aw, it’s almost like you’re my real dad.”

                “Shut up.”

                She will talk to Kanaya, she decides. Soon. But not right now – she’s comfortable, and she’s happy, and hopefully that’ll last. But she’s going to enjoy the moment while she’s here.


End file.
